


under my skin

by chenjisthisandthat



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chenle Best Boyfriend, Chenle calls Jisung Honey and It's Mad Cute, Healthy Conversations, Hurt/Comfort, Jisung is Tired and Sad, M/M, Park Jisung (NCT) Gets a Hug, Park Jisung (NCT) Needs a Hug, moderate angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25263691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenjisthisandthat/pseuds/chenjisthisandthat
Summary: Jisung wakes up annoyed.Very annoyed.There’s an itch under his skin and a shakiness to him that he knows will wear off in a couple hours, but he has to withstand it until then. This has been very common lately, very.* * *In which Jisung is going through a tough time, but he isn't alone
Relationships: Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 8
Kudos: 109





	under my skin

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Taemin's Under My Skin

Jisung wakes up annoyed. 

Very annoyed. 

There’s an itch under his skin and a shakiness to him that he knows will wear off in a couple hours, but he has to withstand it until then. This has been very common lately, very. 

A lot of things have been happening lately. 

He sleeps too much or too little and he wakes up annoyed. He feels dead on his feet ninety-nine percent of the time. Not because he’s tired, he just feels dead. 

The drive to school is boring as per usual. He falls asleep in the car, music blasting through his earbuds. 

He’s been listening to his music louder lately, he isn’t quite sure why. 

He arrives at school far too soon. He bids goodbye to his mom, leaving the car and heading towards the building. 

“Jisung! Jisung wait up!” 

Jisung turns at the noise, stopping. He meets the eyes of his boyfriend, Chenle. 

“Hey honey, how are you?” Chenle hurries up next to him, slipping his hand into Jisung’s. 

“Fine,” Jisung mumbles. He takes a deep breath. No matter how irritable he is, he can’t snap at Chenle. 

“You sure honey? You seem a bit edgy?” 

“Yeah I’m fine, don’t worry,” Jisung says, there’s a well of energy inside of him, just waiting to burst. He’s worried if Chenle pushes any further it might just do that. 

But Chenle must’ve noticed the edge in his voice, because instead Chenle just hums, rubbing the back of Jisung’s hand with his own. 

“Okay baby,” Chenle says. He then launches into a story about some stupid thing his cat did. Jisung allows himself to relax, Chenle’s warm voice washing over him. 

Then they walk into the building, and any momentary calm he had achieved is immediately destroyed by the loud conglomerate of noises barraging his head. He instinctively brings his hands up to his ears, and the itch under his skin returns full force. 

“Jisung? Are you ok?” Jisung doesn’t answer. Instead he hurries over to the nearest staircase, running up it and out the nearby courtyard doors. He’s gonna scream, the energy trapped inside of him has to get it out. 

He bursts through them, stumbling back into the November cold. He can breathe again, taking deep, heaving breaths in, feeling the cold air on the back of his throat and in his chest, grounding him. 

He closes his eyes and turns up the volume of his music. He walks over to a nearby bench, sitting down and letting the cold seep in through the fabric of his jeans. 

“Jisung!” Chenle’s muffled voice carries across the courtyard. 

Jisung opens his eyes to find Chenle staring at him worriedly, walking over to him. He pauses his music. 

“Honey, are you okay?” Chenle asks, taking a seat on the bench. 

Jisung nods jerkily. He’s fine, he’s fine, he just needed some air, he’s fine. He just needs to calm down, he’s fine. This is normal, he’s fine. 

“I’m fine,” Jisung says. The itch under his skin is too much, he’s losing control. 

Chenle gulps. “Jiji, you know you can-” 

“I said I’m fine, Chenle,” Jisung snaps, tone biting. 

Chenle flinches back, worry turning to hurt. Jisung’s eyes widen. 

“Wait, fuck, I’m so.” He’s panicking now. Oh he’s really done it this time, he just snapped at the one person who’s been patient with him through it all. 

“I’m gonna give you some space, Jisung,” Chenle says, standing. Jisung winces at the use of his full name, instead of a nickname like Chenle usually does. 

All of Jisung’s anger melts away into sadness in seconds. He really fucked up. The itch goes away and is replaced by guilt and regret. 

“W-wait,” he stutters. “Chenle! Please,” he calls. Chenle turns around, stopping walking. 

He checks his watch, they still have half an hour before school starts. 

“What, Jisung?” 

Jisung wants to cry at his tone. 

“Please come back,” he whispers to the wind, “please.” 

Chenle must’ve heard him, somehow, because he walks back over to Jisung, sitting on the bench again. 

“I’m sorry,” Jisung says. Tears well in his eyes. He feels so bad. 

Chenle doesn’t say anything, so Jisung keeps talking. He snapped at Chenle, the one person who actually seems to care about him and he snapped at him for no reason. He didn’t deserve it. 

“I’m really sorry Chenle, I just-” 

“It’s okay, Jisungie, I forgive you,” Chenle says. He reaches out, taking Jisung’s hand. 

Jisung chokes on a sob, curling in on himself. He doesn’t deserve it. 

“Honey? Are you okay?” 

Jisung takes a deep breath, blinking back tears. He won’t cry. Not here.

“Yeah I’m f-” 

“Don’t you dare say you’re fine Jisung Park, we both know that’s a lie,” Chenle says sternly. 

Jisung doesn’t say anything. 

“Can we talk?” He asks, “afterschool?” 

Chenle rubs his thumb over the back of Jisung’s hand. 

“Of course we can, are you gonna tell me what’s been going on with you lately?” 

Chenle looks at him, concerned. 

Jisung swallows the lump in his throat and nods. 

“Can you just…” he trails off. He just wants to be held. 

Luckily for him, Chenle knows Jisung like no one else. 

“Do you want me to hold you?” Chenle asks. Jisung nods, feeling small. 

Chenle’s arm wraps around his shoulders, pulling him close. Chenle is warm, much warmer than the cool wind whistling around them. It’s peaceful in the courtyard, and while Jisung would usually hate PDA, he has full confidence that no one will bother them. 

Jisung closes his eyes, reaching up and pulling out his earbuds. He allows himself to take deep breaths, and finally relax. 

* * *

Jisung doesn’t make it to the end of the day. 

He began feeling shitty again by second period, the relaxed feeling from the courtyard wearing off quicker than he’d hoped. 

This time it’s different, there’s still the itch under his skin and the ball of energy in his chest. He can’t sit still in his seat and it’s taking all his self control not to scratch at his arms to just get something out. 

He feels like screaming and crying and with each passing minute he feels like he’s only losing control more. Between classes in the halls he turns his music up to full volume, blasting through his earbuds. It grounds him. 

During lunch he goes to the courtyard again, forgoing sitting with his friends in favor of sitting in the cold with his music. He doesn’t eat, he isn’t hungry. If anything he feels like he might be sick. 

A hand lands on his shoulder. Shocked, Jisung jumps, spinning around. His heart pounds in his chest. He only relaxes when he sees it’s Chenle sitting next to him, a worried look on his face. 

Chenle reaches up, motioning with his hands for Jisung to pull his earbuds out. He does, pausing his music. 

“Jisungie,” Chenle says gently. Tears prick at the back of his eyes. 

Chenle reaches a hand up, cupping his face. His touch burns, and Jisung jolts away. Chenle’s face morphs to one of surprise. 

“Let’s get you out of here honey,” Chenle says softly, standing. 

“What?” His chest aches. 

“We’re leaving, come on.” Chenle says, a bit more forceful, brows furrowed. 

He holds out his hand. Tentatively, Jisung takes it. 

Chenle’s hand is soft and his grip on Jisung is firm, it doesn’t burn like before. He isn’t sure why, or what’s happening. 

Chenle drags him straight out the front door of the school and down to the parking lot, over to Chenle’s car. 

“Chenle wait, what about class?” Jisung asks as Chenle slips into the driver’s side, unlocking the passenger door. 

Jisung climbs in the car, looking at Chenle, confused. They just skipped class. 

“You are more important than school,” Chenle says, putting the car in reverse and pulling out of the parking spot. 

There’s a cross look on his face, one that makes Jisung nervous. Chenle seems mad at him, is he mad at him? 

“Um,” Jisung says as Chenle drives. His knuckles are white from how he’s gripping the steering wheel. 

“Are you mad at me?” Jisung squeaks. Immediately Chenle’s expression softens and his grip on the wheel loosens. 

“No honey, I’m not mad at you,” Chenle says quickly. He takes a hand off the wheel to reach over and place the back of his hand on the center console, palm up. Jisung takes the invitation, sliding his hand into Chenle’s. 

But this time it feels suffocating. Maybe it’s because the air in the car is also stuffy, but Jisung has to pull his hand away. He feels horrible. But he can’t breathe. 

Chenle doesn’t say anything, instead he silently puts his hand back on the wheel. 

He’s really done it now. 

They pull up the driveway of Chenle’s house shortly, and Chenle parks the car then steps out. He motions for Jisung to follow him, and the two make their way into the house and upstairs to Chenle’s bedroom. 

Jisung is scared, he knows he said they’d talk but he doesn’t know what to say. 

Chenle hops onto his bed, sitting and turning to face Jisung. He pats the space next to him. 

Jisung doesn’t move. He’s frozen in the doorway. What if Chenle hates him? Or decides to break up with him? Or tells him he’s lying or he’s being fake or something else mean and drastic. 

“Jisung, it’s okay,” Chenle says, but there’s an edge to his tone. 

He gulps, then walks over and takes a seat on the bed next to Chenle. 

Chenle shifts, turning to face him. 

“Jisung… What’s been happening with you lately?” Chenle asks, concerned. 

Jisung doesn’t say anything. He avoids Chenle’s eyes. 

“Jiji, baby, look at me,” Chenle says gently. He reaches up, but then pauses. 

Tears well up in Jisung’s eyes, he’s really fucked up now. 

Nervously, Jisung turns, looking Chenle in the eye. 

There is so much love and concern in Chenle’s gaze it’s overwhelming, and Jisung can’t help but choke on a sob. 

“Oh honey,” Chenle says sadly. 

“I’m sorry,” Jisung says, voice breaking. 

“Can I touch you?” Chenle asks. 

Jisung nods. He doesn't care if it suffocates him, he just wants to be held. 

Chenle brings his hands up, cupping Jisung’s cheeks. With the pads of his thumbs, he gently brushes the tears from Jisung’s cheeks. It’s such a tender and loving motion that Jisung can’t help but cry harder. 

“What’s wrong Jiji?” Chenle asks. He reaches up, running his hands through Jisung’s hair. 

Jisung just shakes his head. 

“I feel so bad,” he chokes out. 

“Right now?” Chenle rubs his back soothingly. Jisung leans into him, resting his head on Chenle’s shoulder. 

“All the time, I just feel bad and empty and-” he chokes on his words. 

“Dead.” 

Chenle’s hand freezes. Here it is. Here’s the part in the story where Chenle leaves. 

“Oh Jisung.” It sounds like he’s about to cry. Jisung snaps up to look at Chenle, only to see there are tears in his eyes. 

“Please don’t leave me,” Jisung whimpers. 

“No Jisung no, I’m not gonna leave you,” Chenle says. Jisung cries harder, relief flooding through him. 

He stands, turning and enveloping Jisung in a hug, hugging his head close to his chest, running his fingers through his hair. 

“I’m so sorry it took me this long to notice.” Chenle holds him tight. 

“It’s okay,” Jisung says, voice muffled. 

“Except it isn't’!” Chenle exclaims. “You’ve been hurting and I haven’t been there for you.” 

Jisung doesn’t say anything. 

“Please keep talking to me Jisung.” Jisung sniffles, sobs calming down. 

Jisung nods. “I promise.” 

“And when I ask if you’re okay don’t just say you’re fine when you aren’t, please.” 

“I promise.” 

Chenle lets go of Jisung, stepping back and cupping his cheeks. He presses a long kiss to Jisung’s forehead. 

“Sometimes I just,” Jisung starts. He hasn’t told Chenle everything. 

“Sometimes I just get so irritated, like there’s an itch under my skin that I can’t control.” 

“Is that why you snapped at me earlier?” Chenle asks gently. 

Jisung winces,”I’m sorry about th-”

“Shush, I already said it’s okay.” Chenle interrupts. 

Jisung smiles slightly. Chenle smiles reassuringly back. 

“What’s best for you when that happens? Do you need space?” Chenle asks, always the considerate one. 

“I’m not sure,” Jisung says, “I think space is best just because I don’t want to risk hurting you.” 

“Jiji, now that I know what’s going on, I’m able to be understanding. How about I give you space and when you think you’re ready you text me.” Chenle suggests. 

Jisung nods. That does sound like the best case scenario. His heart is heavy. He doesn’t want to need space from Chenle. 

“Jisung? What’s wrong?” Chenle asks, reaching up and wiping a tear from Jisung’s cheek. Jisung hadn’t even realized he’d started crying. 

“I don’t want to have to need space from you,” Jisung mumbles. 

“I don’t want to have any of this, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 

Jisung feels so defeated. All of his fire from earlier is gone. 

“Then we’ll get you help.” 

Jisung looks up at Chenle, meeting his eyes. Chenle has a determined look in his eyes. 

“We’ll get you help honey, it might mean talking to an adult, but you don’t have to deal with this.” 

Jisung doesn’t say anything, instead he just leans forward, resting his head on Chenle’s chest. Chenle takes the hint, wrapping his arms around Jisung and holding him tight. 

“Adults are stinky,” Jisung mumbles. 

“I know Jiji, but your mom loves you and she’ll want to help you too. And besides, I’ll be with you when you tell her,” Chenle says, rubbing Jisung’s back. 

“Can we rest now?” Jisung asks quietly. 

“Sure cutie,” Chenle says, letting go of Jisung. 

Jisung lays down on the bed, scooting over and making space for Chenle, who joins him and opens up his arms. 

Jisung is quick to crawl into them, burying his face in Chenle’s chest. 

Jisung sighs contently. 

He’s safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to message me or comment, I'd love to know what you think.  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/chenjisthisand_)  
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